Never again! Today, May 31, marks the second anniversary of the assassination of Dr. George Tiller in Wichita, KS.
Dr George Tiller - murdered by anti-abortion Christian activists 2 years ago today
More murderous harassment of abortion providers is on the way, so don’t get complacent! Against the backdrop of a wave of anti-abortion legislative assaults, Operation Rescue has announced plans for a “Summer of Mercy 2.0″ targeting the brave and outspoken abortion provider Dr. LeRoy Carhart in Germantown, MD July 30-August 7. This organization is the same group that hounded Dr. George Tiller in Wichita, KS, for years (until he was assassinated by one of their associates in May ’09). Their original “Summer of Mercy” in 1991 shut down access to the Dr. Tiller’s clinic for six weeks and resulted in 3,400 arrests, a very alarming history to invoke.
Join with others to mount a serious and determined showing of public support for Dr. Carhart and the Germantown, MD, clinic whose practice he has joined.
Only 40 minutes from Washington, Operation Rescue’s targeting of this clinic in Germantown is an important opportunity to dramatically shift the dialogue over abortion rights. Rather than accept compromises that leave us with less and less ground to stand on, let’s show the national media and politicians a strong pro-choice presence on the streets.
Defend abortion providers! without them there is NO reproductive freedom!
The Fallacies of the Successful Woman
Please read this post by Sarah Wilson. Here’s a copy of it here:
Over the past week debate has been raging about a few studies and op-eds that – sigh – tell us that women who are smart and successful don’t score blokes. What do we all think of this?
“Those who were married valued meaningful work less than single men and women did…Those who valued meaningful work when they were in high school were more likely to be single 9 years later.”
Then the New York Times waded in with a story about female empowerment killing romance.
Now, as more women match or overtake men in education and the labor market, they are also turning traditional gender roles on their head, with some profound consequences for relationship dynamics.
It identifies three types of scenarios that play out for ambitious chicks
1. successful women in their 30s who have trouble finding a mate.
2. the alpha-women who end up with alpha-men but then decide to put career second when the babies come.
3. there is also a third group: a small but growing number of women who out-earn their partners, giving rise to an assortment of behavioral contortions aimed at keeping the appearance of traditional gender roles intact.
As much as I can’t stand these types of generalising stories that express a bafflement that things change when, um, we change things, it’s certainly been my experience. (Oh, and I HATE how this gender disconnect is blamed on female empowerment…!!! Isn’t it just because the world is shifting that romance has changed?).
I agree that while women now fight in wars and sit on boards, when it comes to relationships we revert to old-school roles. Women are still attracted to men who look/act like providers – so they go after men with money. Men still like women who can be good child bearers – so they like chicks with boobs and happy to stay at home (read: not so big career plans).
And men do tend to find fierce ambition in a woman unattractive. There I said it. It’s true. If it’s straight ambition, without any room for vulnerability… room for them…they run. And I say this as someone who pushes 99% of men away inadvertently. Over time I’ve worked out that men balk from smart chicks in part cos it all seems too hard. Being with a smart woman demands a man rise to the occasion.
But it’s also because it leaves little room for the man to be masculine. To be in his masculine role and feel himself.
Not all men. But a lot. Even the men who SAY they like smart women…eventually feel shut out. And go for any easier option. True story.
This is the bit that grabbed me: The NYT piece quotes a woman saying,
“Men don’t want successful women, men want to be admired. It’s important to them that the woman is full of energy at night and not playing with her BlackBerry in bed.”
I agree with the first bit. I always say: men want to be admired, women want to feel taken care of. But I disagree with the second bit. I reckon we can do this admire/look after dance in all kinds of different ways. We just have to inventive.
* a man can be the emotional rock, give his girl’s feet a massage at night, organise the restaurant booking, clean her car for…
* a woman can let the guy open the door for them, show their vulnerability when they’re feeling it(instead of putting up a stoic, “I can handle it” front), tell a guy he’s ace for organising the bbq with friends when she’s had a mad week…
I was at a party on Friday night. 35 guys from Bondi Rescue. And me. These guys all work rescuing people (and many are fire fighters, plumbers etc on the side, too). They are totally fulfilling their masculine roles. They are totally comfortable with their place in a very confusing world. So they don’t find smart, successful women a threat. They’re already “the man”. And can love women just as they come. Which then allows the woman to relax, be soft (if that’s where she’s at) and be her best (and most powerful) feminine self.
That’s how it works. That’s why lots of women I know say, “I just want to meet a plumber”.
And not just cos plumbers work great hours for picking the kids up from school.
Then there was this piece by Amanda Hess on how folk keep writing essentialist trend stories about chick.Worth a read…
I’d be interested to know…smart, successful women…who do you show your vulnerability? Is it hard to do? How do you let a guy “provide”? And blokes – how do you own your masculinity around unreal, strong women?”
My Take—> I always get a load of backlash whenever I argue that men dont like intelligent, successful woman- they are intimidated by them. All my guy friends continuously argue that they find intelligence and ambitious sexy, attractive, admirable, etc etc etc.. OK SURE. But when it REALLY comes down to it- there is a very minuscule pool of men who truly want to be with a woman more successful/intelligent than themselves. When it comes down to true commitment, or perhaps even a longer-term relationship, men scurry away from the intimidating female, realizing their own masculinity is at stake. They revert back to the easier, less ambitious women who rather be the damsel in distress than the femmes fatales. I’ve seen it one too many times, and I frankly don’t care what guys keep telling me: they are threatened, no matter what they say. If we can get past that, I’m sure we can continue this discourse in a more proactive manner. These days, most things are given to men on a platter, and they seldom need to do the leg work (excuse the pun) to keep or get a woman. Women are chasing men these days, not the other way around. I’m not saying that this is an entirely bad thing, but it has certainly changed up the gender spectrum. We have reversed gender behaviors creating a confusing group of 20-40 year olds who are increasingly finding it difficult to get married. Successful women in their 30s cant find a compatible partner, while their 30-year old male counterparts bask in the pool of eligible single women, refusing to take on a commitment.
The idea of vulnerability is complex. I do agree that there are certain ideals that should be upheld, such as the idea of a man taking care of a woman/ a woman providing her nurturing attributes- but to a certain extent. These days, its imperative to realize that a successful relationship requires equality in all fronts, and a time and place for everything. A man does not need to feel emasculated in the presence of a successful, career driven woman nor does a woman need to “dumb” herself down to keep a guy. There are no true gender roles anymore, in my personal opinion- just a renegotiation of what works best for each individual relationship. Again, I am not asserting that all men are intimidated by the “brainy” ones- I am just pointing out that some/most men feel uncomfortable around a successful woman, whether it’s subconscious or not. Until the gender prescriptions become neutralized, there will continue to be an influx of young, successful women moving further away from getting hitched.
The Beauty Ideal…Not So Beautiful
According to the superficial society that we live in today, beauty is completely the woman’s responsibility. A woman’s worth is based primarily on how close or how far she comes to embodying the ideal. As a result, women are supposed to conform to the extremely narrow and well-defined standards of beauty. It is her ultimate duty, above all else, to be beautiful ALL the time. However, beauty is something that can be lost as quickly as it is gained. The beauty ideal constantly changes with time. Any woman that is rewarded the title of being beautiful only temporarily escapes into the eternal ideal. She has to constantly adapt to beauty standards. This can be attributed to the prevalent sexist attitudes that are present in our society today.
Currently, in Western civilization, the ideal beautiful woman is a woman that is narrow-hipped, high-breasted, and that has flawless skin. “Age-denying” methods such as scientific skin care products, cosmetic surgery, along with weight loss programs and supplements, make it possible to disguise aging and give women the opportunity to be “youthful” and beautiful all of their lives. The concept of graying, wrinkling, and gaining weight can be extinct to those women that take drastic measures to remain “beautiful.”
There are countless personal and political ramifications of the pressure on women to conform to a beauty standard. To be beautiful is to look a constant twenty, whether in actuality the individual is twelve or forty-five years old. The pressure on women to conform to a beauty standard causes women to feel an intensely private shame for their “personal failure” especially when they do not fit in with what is perceived as beautiful. Consequently, as women come to accept their “personal failure,” which is a result of natural differences, they begin to hold steadfastly to the idea that they deserve the hostility that is directed toward them by society. Women can even tend to gain a sense of self-hate because they just cannot be “beautiful” despite their endless efforts. It is no surprise that this can make women more susceptible to low self-esteem. A woman’s inability to conform to a beauty standard can ultimately lead her to believe that she is ugly, unattractive, unintelligent, unwomanly, and unconfident, everything that is not beautiful. It is evident that the beauty ideal is not so beautiful after all! It can have ugly consequences, especially on individuals that internalize and accept unrealistic beauty standards.
Sisterhood: A Mutual Bond Between All Women? Or Not?
On several occasions, I remember being told that other females were my “sisters”…whether they were related to me or not. As a youth, I always questioned exactly what this meant. It baffled me that a female that was not one of Mommy and Daddy’s daughters could be called my sister. Well I learned later on in life exactly what this concept meant and I strongly identify with it. Sisterhood is a concept that implies that all women are linked together by a strong bond, despite ANY differences they may have.
Despite their differences, whether big or small, they share the unchangeable fact that they are women. Ideally, being a woman comes first and is supposed to be a determining factor by which a woman governs her whole life. There is such a great emphasis placed on gender rather than any other group identifying factor. Gender is supposed to be one of the most powerful of uniting forces. It is a force that women, and men alike, are to feel a dominant connection to.
Theoretically, women are to embrace sisterhood and every component from which it is formed. However, we live in a far from ideal world and sisterhood does not necessarily apply to every woman nor does it have a universal definition. This is a huge problem since the concept of sisterhood is based on global unity and is supposed to break cultural, political, and social barriers. It is no secret that women rarely fit into one box, instead they have many identifiable characteristics that make it difficult to categorize them. Sisterhood is intended to blur these differences and bring these women close together. It is evident that we should ALL embrace the concept of sisterhood, proudly and move a step closer to complete unity!!!
Womyn vs. Woman
Zora Neal Hurston
Womyn Vs. Woman
Although many feminists use “womyn” as an alternative to “woman” many individuals have never heard or even seen the word. However, this is not the least bit shocking. Of course an issue like this, concerning womyn would be swept under the rug! But this is not an issue that can be ignored! Supporters have to SPEAK UP and make this a widespread and known issue. Anyone who is literate, can see from the spelling that the word “man” is present in “woman.” Once again “man” has found a way to make its presence known. In order to completely emancipate themselves from the other sex, womyn should try to make the alternative spelling change permanent. It would be quite empowering and liberating to see this change in the English dictionary. Wow, the difference one letter can make! Something as seemingly small as the replacement of one letter with another (from “e” to “y”) can have such a significant effect!
To some it may seem quite trivial and pointless, but that is due to their lack of understanding about the great struggles that womyn have overcome throughout history. It is a way of combating patriarchy. Believe it or not, it is a way for womyn to assert their independence and strengthen their unity! If the word “woman” was to formally change, it would defy tradition. Breaking tradition just proves that womyn do not have to conform to the belief system currently in place. Womyn do not have to adhere to socially constructed norms! They do not have to stick to gender norms! I honestly think the word “womyn” is great. It is gender-neutral and the spelling is unique. I know I’d rather be considered a “womyn” than a “woman” any day!